People leave our lives for many reasons. Some voluntary, some not, some simply by happenstance. During the COVID-19 pandemic, I buried myself so deep in writing and performing for others that I didn't pick up on the fact that I hadn't written for myself in a long while. I felt a pang of regret of losing a friend out of the blue five years ago, so strong that it moved me to create Separate Path.
The verses speak specifically, even though listeners may be able to empathize with some of the imagery and feelings. The choruses are more general, reaching out to the group of us who've lost a loved one that left certain marks on our lives.
I really take to imagery and poetry in songs, something I feel most modern pieces are lacking. Like using harbingers equated with laughs shows that their chilling sound foretells of the separation ahead. Or how strength in a smile may seem contradictory, but smiling after hardships--whether shared or individual--is undoubtedly where strength can find home.
Probably my favorite is the first line, about how you get the feeling, in simple eye contact with our elders, that they have mountains of stories; in how they move, what they focus on, what makes them tear up. Mourning Wind is a tie in with my song Rovers' Lullaby. It's the kind of wind that tells you it's time to move on, that something has ended, and perhaps as its bitterness dies down, there will be peace in the memory of what came before.
Listen to or purchase "Separate Path" on Bandcamp
Laugh lines around faded eyes,
Each glance a dozen tales.
They saw the wonder in seasons,
Watched songbirds and grandchildren,
And never thought their spirit would fail.
The agony of life’s slow decline,
The flicker it turns blazes into,
Make your passing a mercy,
And regret out of the nothing I could do.
I sing for the faces we’ll never hold again,
The hands whose strength is no more,
The warm drinks on cold days that welcomed us home
Now sitting stale behind an ever-darkened door.
They say this hurt will pass somewhere along my path,
But some days I can’t ignore.
Riddles and dice on rainy days,
Trailing behind in your footsteps,
Amber sunsets on fields, cracked ribs that wouldn’t yield,
And proud smiles that left me breathless.
Chilling laughs like harbingers
Bid my disbelief unfold,
Fell like curtains between us
To hide away the ugliness and mold.
I sing for the nods that brightened our days,
The feet beside which we ran,
The blood that still binds them into our lives,
Trickling through the gaps in anger’s dam.
They say this hurt will pass somewhere along my path,
Though I don’t think it ever can.
Small hours lit by campfire,
Strength shining in your smiles,
Mending hearts while they’re breaking
Adventures worth the taking,
Our bond shrank the years and miles.
When suddenly, you closed your door
And left me fumbling through the dark
With these unanswered questions,
Wond’ring where and who you now are.
So I cling to those moments we breathed the same air
Or dreamed on those same stars.
So I sing for the stories we’ll never write or share,
The laughs only in our eyes,
The twilights that taught us how little we know
About this world and the truths that it belies.
They say this hurt will pass somewhere along my path,
But that still won’t answer these “why?”s
So let that Mourning Wind blow you where it will,
Through rage, silence, or tears.
Grief comes out different no matter where we look
After weeks, months, or all of your years.
Maybe your hurt won’t pass, and it’s not a separate path—
Just don’t honor it with guilt or fear.
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